Excerpt:
Chapter 1
I looked intently at the image trapped inside the rearview mirror and saw a man drained of fortitude. Dark lines charted a timeline beneath his eyes like rings of a tree. I could almost map the long weeks of restlessness to the very minute. Blowing out a long breath, I shifted my gaze to the house. I stayed put within the safe haven of the car watching the home we once shared. I was indecisive on whether I should remain inside or leave its warmth for the cold response I would most certainly receive at the door. Everything I cherished lay before me. All I had to do was swallow my pride and step out.
On the second floor, light escaped through a bedroom blind that had suddenly been cracked. Someone was at the window peering out. It was still black outside, and the dark tone of the Mustang made it invisible. I waited until the upstairs light had faded before turning the key and starting the car. I was confident my being there had never been detected.
I drove downtown and pulled over beside a broken parking meter near the corner of Washington Boulevard not far from the convention centers or from the meeting I had later. I felt a need to get some air before my engagement and decided a stroll would clear the dust from my head. It wasn't the first time I'd done this—in the many months since the separation, it had become a place for me to think and to enjoy the stars. Civic Center Drive was peaceful at that hour. There was the occasional shuffling of homeless people that slept in dark places disrupting the quiet but they were only minor distractions.
Street lamps lit the direction down the walkway. The path had a view of the Detroit River and beyond that, resided Canada . Darkness cloaked the reflective water but across the river the city lights of Windsor glistened as if it were the Emerald City Dorothy had sought. At dock, was the Detroit Princess—its decks—dark and quiet. The old styled riverboat, a new attraction to the city, promised entertainment by way of pleasant cruises, spirited music, fine food and drinks. None of which I was in the mood for. I passed the boat with barely a glance.
Stopping close to Hart Plaza , I stared at the stone set of steps that led up to it and remembered the many events Nina, Jamaal and I shared here. We enjoyed ethnic festivals, music concerts, and fireworks. The showground's desolate, empty seats and the waterless fountain in its center mirrored the seclusion I felt in my heart. I faced away and leaned against the security barricade dividing the pavement and the river. My gaze turned upward beyond Windsor 's towering structures made of steel and mortar, and escaped to the heavens. The translucent sky had surrendered itself to the stars. It was a perfect vista of the cosmos, and I was left breathless. It was a moment I wished to share with my son. Regret began to permeate inside me. I should have gotten out of the car—should have talked to my wife—should be there to wake my son for school.
There was a great deal of things I should have—could have done my entire life. Bad decisions surrounded me like a pack of hungry wolves, and I was so tired of it. I spent a lot of time that morning reflecting and wondered if what I was about to pursue would be another regret piled on top of the others. But how could I avoid it? The nightmares were getting worse. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard the sounds of the city starting to wake. The stars had begun their slow retreat and first light embarked on its ascent into the heavens. A chilly early morning October breeze that I had not noticed before during my walk reminded me I had somewhere to be.
Crossing Hart Plaza , I tried not to think of the past. This was a problem in itself, since the answers about the past were what I actually sought. When I reached Jefferson and Woodward, the streets were congested with traffic and hurried people rushed to work. The solitude I enjoyed retreated with the night. It would have taken me ten or fifteen minutes to walk to police headquarters, but I had walked enough and decided to move the Mustang closer to the station. I turned back toward the water and stared out at Windsor . With the daylight, it had lost its majesty—the yellow brick road led not to a magical place where a wizard could fix my problems—but to another city with troubles of its own.
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